Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The Tail of King Yogi

My husband and I were talking the other day about how our dog, Yogi, has somehow become king of our household. He requires constant petting, attention, and a place on the couch between us – and he gets it.

We started taking that idea and running with it, deciding that we needed to get Yogi a little gold crown as befitting his royal status. So here is the story of King Yogi.

Once upon a time there lived a short little black king named Yogi. He came upon his kingdom one day after riding all day in a car from the smoggy, traffic-filled village of Phoenix. As soon as he saw the green and tree-filled half acre in the northern mountains of Arizona, he decided it would be here that he built his kingdom.

So King Yogi laid claim to the land. To help keep his kingdom and its vassals secure and under control, he employed his friend, Colby Jack, to serve as knight. Now Sir Jack was amenable to this, as long as he didn’t have to do too much. Sir Jack stayed within the confines of the kingdom’s fence and barked to alert the serfs inside the palace when a feline interloper was spotted or an intruder breached the security of the front door.

King Yogi made it known to his subjects that he ruled his kingdom with an iron paw. When the serfs ate, he was paid taxes on the food in the form of the juiciest pieces of fat, the tastiest bits of hamburger, and the finest crusts of bread. When the serfs were done dining, King Yogi would find the warmest spot on the couch and lay his head across a soft lap. He would demand to be scratched behind the ears and have his head caressed.

As long as the liege obeyed, all was good in the kingdom. King Yogi relegated Sir Jack to the unused loveseat, where he had to sleep without human companionship in order to better hone his fighting skills.

One day there was an uprising in the kingdom. Sir Jack used his superior size and might to oust King Yogi from his cushy throne. King Yogi did not take this rebellion lightly. With a series of low growls, he made it known that Sir Jack had overstepped his bounds.

(The picture on the left above depicts Sir Jack during the midst of the famous uprising of 2009 while the photo to the right shows King Yogi's eventual comeuppance when he temporarily ousted Sir Jack from the kingdom)

Today, King Yogi’s liegedom is peaceful. Sir Colby knows better than to usurp the King’s throne. The vassals have all been appropriately trained through means of growling punishment as how to best serve their lord and master. He is kept fat and happy with his favorite foods, petted incessantly, and cared for in the manner as befitting a royal dog.

We bow to you, King Yogi the Great.

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